Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
