Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she peed on how many people?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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