dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
did you just send me my own nude
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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