Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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