Kiss
Puke
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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