oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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