As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
