I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
