screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.