so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.