when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize