this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
