as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
