the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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