Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
