im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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