Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
