remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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