too bad you live with your parents still
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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