Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
