I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The power of my boobs compel you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
