Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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