I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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