She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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