So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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