I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
