i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
