Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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