Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
