census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
