I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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