Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So squirting runs in the family.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
