I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
