You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
