i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
