Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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