thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
