he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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