theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
