Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
