operation harelip BJ is a go
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
