Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
