Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
