Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
