I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
