Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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