Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
