just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
