i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
