Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
