I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
