And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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