Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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