he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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