Dual....:-)
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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