this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i dont even know how to be here
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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