so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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