It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
