after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i think my cat just said my name.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
