so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
