we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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