I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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